When I got the news of Nipsey Hussle's murder, I immediately thought of his children, and his parents, and how this news might be the most insurmountable blow they’ve ever been thrown. I mean, look how heart wrenching the loss of Nipsey is to fellow celebrities, and communities all over the world who didn’t even share his bloodline; so his family, must be in a dark place, I kept thinking. My mind fell on the murder of my own father almost thirty years earlier. I still remember how I had become paralyzed with devastation. Although, Nipsey's daughter Emani , is much younger than I was at the time of my father’s slaying; she’s still at the age where she’s able to feel the pain of her father’s absence. Emani will miss him immensely throughout her life. As a mother of sons, I couldn’t conceive the thought of losing one of my boys to death. Especially the way that Nipsey’s mother lost him, or the way that I had lost my daddy. That pain seems so unnatural, and far too big for any mother to bare. But like Nipsey’s mother, and hundreds of other mothers of slain black boys and men who left us before Nipsey, and those who’ll fall victim after him, is forced to endure life with a big part of them missing. What a grim and fearful reality.

Within hours of Nipsey’s murder invading our worlds, and hearts; I started combing the internet. That night I would eat and digest Everything Nipsey; interviews, articles, recordings, tributes, quotes, pictures, music, the celebrities who loved him, and the communities who mourn him. Nipsey’s roots in the community ran deep. His efforts to provide jobs, help keep kids out of gangs, and donating financial assistance to provide children with shoes, and renovation of playgrounds did not go unnoticed. “Tha Great” rapper proved he never forgot the struggles he overcame, nor the streets in which he came from. But did Nipsey Hussle’s continued close ties to the hood cause him to pay the ultimate price.

That night before I settled in, I grabbed my phone and dialed up my oldest son. His thoughts and feelings resonated with me.

“Ma, Nipsey was a good dude,” as if he had known him personally. “I’ve followed him for years. Nip was to us, what Pac was to your generation.”

When Eric Holder shot and killed Nipsey Hussle, he seemed to have taken more than just a great rapper. He took a great family man, a flourishing entrepreneur, a prominent leader and a builder of communities. Eric Holder ripped away a piece of our culture.